So I quickly went on to get a job and 'act my age' but all I wanted to do was settle down. I was 18, living with my 'husband to be' and it was like nothing changed. He treated me the same. Not to say he was a total bad guy but he just wasn't nice. Ok Ok like I said I was mean to him but after the adoption I think he decided it was all my fault and so he began to take it out on me. I don't remember if I said before so I will say it now. When I had the baby I KNEW with all my heart that we weren't meant to be.
Holding that baby was all I needed to know about love. When I walked away my heart shattered into a million pieces. I just hoped that Mark and my relationship would be at the other end of my pieces. I felt stupid and I wanted to prove myself WRONG. How could I have a child with a man I didn't even know? We were together off and on for nearly 3 years and he was like a stranger to me! We fought all the time. I will honestly say from July until like the Beginning of September we put an honest foot forward to our relationship. I guess he was still willing to try and I guess he did but from about the middle of September until the end of October I was closed off and done. I was never home. I worked all the time, I was at my old high school for football games and I think at the time I had a visit with the mom and dad. (This whole time is super blurry to me).
So one night at the end of October, I had an apartment and roommates. I had a full time job and I just needed to get out so I took Mark to a Denny's where I broke it off. I then moved out the next day. The issue was I had spent my whole life with him for over a year, his family was my family so moving out wasn't the end. I was mean, I strung him along for a while which to this day I super regret but I will continue later. Next is the first time my life began to spiral out of control.
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