My son is 11 now. I miss him every single day. Nothing will ever fill the void of him in my heart. So I will remember him tonight.
Also I am sorry about the no blogging I have been busy. I will try tomorrow when I am alone.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
The Beginning
So I was told that I should start a blog on being a 'Bio-Mom' and being the parent who gave a child to another couple. It was never anything I regretted, still to this day I am 100% sure it was the best thing for all, I just sometimes feel alone and well Kristin suggested I tell my story in the blogger world, mainly because I suggested she tell her side of the I want to adopt story. So here it is.
I was 16 when I met the guy...His name was Mark and we worked together. I was naive and well held off for actually longer than you would think. All of my friends were more 'free' with their sexuality and I was shy and timid and thought it was something to hide so it showed to that guy. When I was 17 my mom and I had been at each others throats for years and hit our breaking point where I said I hated her and she threw me out. Thats where is started to get complicated. It was July before my senior year, my relationships with my friends were rocky because alot of them were partying and drinking and doing drugs and I wanted NOTHING to do with it. I liked my job, my bf, my school activities, my grades and my summer schooling at the Art Institute. So I had no where to go but my bf's parents house. He had just graduated High School from Washington HS and his parents liked me enough so they agreed.
Shortly after things turned and got out of control. I was working like crazy, doing all my school stuff and spending hours in the car home and at my bf's work waiting for him to finish. I think I was so out of it I just never even considered the path I was taking would lead to pregnancy. While working at a jewelry store I knew I was pregnant. This was just under a month after and I didn't tell the dad for another month, and we were sleeping in the same bed. He insisted I get an abortion. I freaked and talked with a parent in charge at school (she did uniforms at school for the band and I had known her for 4 years) she just told me to take a stand or figure out a way to stall. So I stalled for another month and then lied and told him that it was too late and I was stuck.
By now my grades were suffering and I was kicked out of my English 7-8 class, twice. So I knew I would need to find a way to graduate. With the advise of my counselor at school I planned to enroll into summer school and just ensure I passed the rest of the classes I was taking (which I did with all A's might I add.). I stopped working but kept all my after school activities.
I will continue this tomorrow.
I was 16 when I met the guy...His name was Mark and we worked together. I was naive and well held off for actually longer than you would think. All of my friends were more 'free' with their sexuality and I was shy and timid and thought it was something to hide so it showed to that guy. When I was 17 my mom and I had been at each others throats for years and hit our breaking point where I said I hated her and she threw me out. Thats where is started to get complicated. It was July before my senior year, my relationships with my friends were rocky because alot of them were partying and drinking and doing drugs and I wanted NOTHING to do with it. I liked my job, my bf, my school activities, my grades and my summer schooling at the Art Institute. So I had no where to go but my bf's parents house. He had just graduated High School from Washington HS and his parents liked me enough so they agreed.
Shortly after things turned and got out of control. I was working like crazy, doing all my school stuff and spending hours in the car home and at my bf's work waiting for him to finish. I think I was so out of it I just never even considered the path I was taking would lead to pregnancy. While working at a jewelry store I knew I was pregnant. This was just under a month after and I didn't tell the dad for another month, and we were sleeping in the same bed. He insisted I get an abortion. I freaked and talked with a parent in charge at school (she did uniforms at school for the band and I had known her for 4 years) she just told me to take a stand or figure out a way to stall. So I stalled for another month and then lied and told him that it was too late and I was stuck.
By now my grades were suffering and I was kicked out of my English 7-8 class, twice. So I knew I would need to find a way to graduate. With the advise of my counselor at school I planned to enroll into summer school and just ensure I passed the rest of the classes I was taking (which I did with all A's might I add.). I stopped working but kept all my after school activities.
I will continue this tomorrow.
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